New Goal?

I don't know how this came to be, but I spent three weeknights this week with my friends!!! Three!!!!! Not only the nights were fun and relaxing, it also put me in a good mood throughout the week! I even cooked multiple times, without feeling hostile towards the family (!!), so I could go out and spend time with my friends! This might need to become the norm in my life!

Lesson Learned

Went to Starbucks this morning on my way to work to get my coffee. I always ask for "Tall, regular coffee with room for milk" and they always give it to me full to the brim. As I was diligently pouring out some of the coffee in the trash can to make room for milk, the barista looked at me and said "Next time, ask to pour the coffee in a Grande cup so you don't have to waste good coffee."

I am in utter shock over all the good coffee I poured out over the years!

Beating myself up

Yet another year went by and I still weigh about the same as I did at the beginning of the year, if not more! No clear muscle definition is visible either! So it's not like I've lost fat and gained muscle! On top of that, Tanveer has gone all out on health and fitness this year! As some of you already know, he did the Livestrong challenge this year. He is planning on doing it again in 09. He is also digging up all these core strengthening exercises from the web and actually doing them! He has made a lot of changes to his eating habit and I can see the results of all these, yet I still am not motivated enough to do those things for myself! How sad is that!? Oh did I mention he actually bought a treadmill for me since I always said that if we had one at home, it will be easier for me to workout? Meanwhile, yet another of my uncles suffered a stroke this year. This one brings the number to FIVE strokes/heart attacks on my mom's side of the family! So I am a high risk too.

I secretly wish for my pre-pregnancy body back. I fantasize about how I will work out, eat healthy and become a size four again, but put any food in front of me and I forget all about eating healthy, getting that body back, let alone be more responsible for my health. I tell myself I'll work out when I get home, but when I get home, I feel too lazy/find excuses not to exercise. It scares me to think what would happen to the kids if I am not there to take care of them, but I obviously don't feel strongly enough to make becoming healthier a priority. What an awful person I am!

I've been soooooo down last couple of days. What can I do that would not let me forget what my priorities should be when there is a box of cookies in front of me? I don't need to go to a body building competition. I don't even need to look good in a dress. I need to be healthy - for myself, for my kids, for my family.

Bye 2007!! Hello 2008!!

Wow. Another year gone! I was thinking about the past year and surprisingly, I kept coming back to Zoya. 2007 was definitely Zoya's year! She has made sooooooooooo much progress that it is almost mind boggling! She has flowered from a shy little girl to a bubbly, music-loving, school-going, cute-as-ever chatter-box!!!!!!!! We are all eagerly waiting to see what she accomplishes in 2008.

Raffae also amazes me everyday with his wit, his mischiviousness, his keen observations, his intelligence, his kindness. In his own words: "He is incredible!" He will start kindergarten in 2008. I can't believe my baby is all grown up!

Tanveer managed to get a job 15 minutes from home. He is lot happier about his commute, though his office mate might drive him to look for another job! (She is growing a garlic plant in the office!!!!!) He plans to go back to school in 2008 to finish his masters.

Ammu has adjusted well to US (I think!). She doesn't miss Bangladesh as much as before. Since the kids are going to school now, she finds herself home with lot of free time on her hands. So she decided to go visit her family in Bangladesh for Eid. Once she is back, she plans to get involved in some sort of work which will keep her busy.

As for myself, I've done a tremendous amount of work this year! Managed to keep the house clean enough that I didn't have to call the Clean House crew in! Did some travelling, read some good books, made loads of friends! Didn't lose any weight! That's what I definitely need to work on in 08. I also want to start looking into MBA programs :-) Wish me luck.

Happy New Year everyone!!! Now lets get the party started!!!!!!!!!!

Bitter sweet

A friend from high school, whom I hadn't seen since then, came to visit during Labor Day weekend with his wife and two kids. Essentially, I've known him only as a teenager. To meet him as an adult and to find out that I like him even more as an adult was a great feeling. He has done well for himself, has a LOVELY wife whom all of us adored to death, and the kids! Oh wow! Raffae was instantly friends with S who is just a month younger than him. My mom and I got busy with N who is just about five months old! She is simply adorable. The next day, I offered to baby sit N as my friend and his wife wanted to go see some places in DC. S refused to leave without Raffae, so ammu and I ended up babysitting all four kids and Tanveer took them to DC. The kids had fun coloring, playing at the park, napping on couch cushions on the floor. S was very affectionate towards Zoya too. Every time Raffae and she went to the basement or to another room, she took Zoya with her. Zoya received loads of hugs and kisses from her throughout the weekend. Both S and Raffae cried when it was time to say goodbye. We put S in the car promising to send Raffae and Zoya by mail! She is bugging her dad everyday to talk to the postman since Raffae and Zoya haven't arrived yet! How adorable is that!?

And then we found out my Boro mama (eldest maternal uncle) suffered a heart attack. After my mom's heart attack in 2001, everyone in the family recognizes signs of heart attack and he was taken to the hospital immediately. He received proper treatment at the right time, so he is out of danger at the moment, but will have to take a lot of care of himself for the rest of his life. The scary thing is this mama is the most finicky eater in the family. At 74, he is still very active. You would think he wouldn't be at risk for heart related problems except for that one fact - gene. Almost everyone on my mom's side has had a heart attack or has passed away from stroke. It’s scary to think that I happen to carry that gene too!!!! I need to get in shape, need to lose all these extra pounds I gained during the pregnancies. Just can't seem to motivate myself enough to go to the gym! How much more of a sign do I need?!

Murphy’s Law prevails

I have called for free tickets to U2, Madonna and some others tour tickets offered by the radio station I listen to on my way home. Usually I never get through. If I do get through, I am usually not the caller 10 (usually that’s the person who gets the ticket). On my way home yesterday, I called and was the caller 10 and got the free tickets – to go see American Idol tour.

Any huge American Idol fan out there that wants to take the tickets off my hand?

P.S. I don't like how my voice sounds!

Observation of the day

Some people are sooooo stupid that I wish I had a mallet to hit them over the heads and make them better. Nuff said!

Beauty comes with a price!!!

Last night when I was taking out my contact lenses, one of them ripped! It looked quite intact on my hand, but once I went to bed, my eye kept watering and it felt like I had something in my eye. So I gave my eye a good rub. No change. More rubbing. No change. Then my head started throbbing. At one point, I got up, went to the bathroom, splashed some water in my eye and went back to bed. Couple of mintues of rubbing, burning later, I went back to the bathroom again and looked carefully. Holy crap! I see a small piece of my lense floating around in my eye!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEKKKK. Panicked, I call Tanveer. Took him a while to even see the piece. He is all thumbs anyway, so he was no use! Everytime I tried to grab the floating piece, it escaped and I ofcourse touched my eye and that burned like hell! After five or so minutes, Tanveer was getting ready to take me to ER. I felt as if it came out. So I decided not to go to ER and sleep on it.

This morning, I woke up with a throbbing headache! It still felt like there is something in my eye. I followed the same routine of rinsing and rubbing. I called my brother-in-law who is an eye surgeon. He said I probably have an abrasion from all the rubbing. Definitely go see a doctor if it is still bothring me tomorrow morning.

Then sometime during the afternoon, I felt something slide across my eye. This time I looked into one of those mirrors that magnifies the reflection and I saw the culprit folded neatly right around my lower lid! I closed my eyes and it came out!!!!!!

I am glad my eye is still intact!

Amazingly I speak English even though I am brown skinned!!!!!!!!

As I was getting into my car this morning, a school bus came and stopped right behind me. The driver, an older white woman, slid open the window, said “Excuse me”. As I turned towards her, she looked at me, hesitated for 5 seconds (She really did, it was quite obvious) and then asked me “Do you speak English?”!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was leaving for work. I was dressed appropriately for work. I had my laptop bag on my shoulder. There was no way I could have been mistaken as a maid or a nanny or whatever else she thinks brown skin people do.

At the time I thought it was quite hilarious! She wanted to know where the Elementary school was. I gave her directions and we were both on our way. Then I started thinking about it and got more and more upset! I should have told her, “No, I don’t speak English” and driven away. I’ve had people tell me numerous times that my English is perfect or I speak English well! You know what?! I hate that too. Just because I am brown I am supposed to talk with an accent?! Arrrgggghhh!!

I know I am just ranting! Now let me go back to my work where I should get paid more since I have this amazing ability of speaking English even though I am brown.

Facing my fears one at a time

I faced one of my fears yesterday – water; more specifically, swimming pool. I registered for a swimming class and yesterday was the first class. I was really scared thinking I wasn’t going to be able to take my feet off of the floor! But I did and I had fun! Man, swimming is hard! I was sooooooo tired by the time I came back home. I have to find some time to go back to the swimming pool and practice before next week’s class.

With swimming lessons in progress, next I guess I’ll have to get myself a bike! Yes I can’t bike either!!!!!!!! I was a bookworm growing up! I could probably name the capital of all the countries of the world. Almost all of them at least. So there….

Damn I am beautiful!!!!

I've finally fixed it! Here are my results from myheritage.com

   
I do look like Saif Ali Khan! Atleast in this picture! I wonder if I put in a different picture where my head is not tilted like his, would myheritage still think I look like Saif the most?! I guess if that means that I look like Sharmila Thakur, I'm ok with that!!!:-P

   
I think she is absolutely breath taking! I am glad myheritage thinks I look like her in some way!

   
Hmmm... I always complain about my eyes being slanted! Here's my proof finally!

   
Whoa!!! I think she is one of the most beautiful woman in India! I have been told by a guy who had a MAJOR crush on me since 4th grade, that I look just like Madhuri!! I ofcourse thought he was just making it up. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown away all the letters he used to write to me! Or read them out loud to my friends!!

   
Need I say more! Not sure why heritage thinks I look like her though!!

   
If this is how I am going to look when I age, then I want all the plastic surgery and botox and what not!!!!

   
I think my brain looks like his! ;-)

Other honorable mentions are Catherine Deneuve, Shirley Temple, Gwyneth Paltrow! I think there's a big flaw in their code somewhere, but I'm not complaining!

Zeenat 101

1. I am full of contradictions.
2. I've never broken any bones.
3. I was a sprinter at high school.
4. Lugging the kids around is pretty much all the exercise I get nowadays.
5. I've taught myself to cook.
6. I love cross-stich projects.
7. I sometimes think out loud.
8. I like watching chick flicks every once in a while.
9. I wish I didn't care about what other people think about me.
10. I don't have too many friends, but I do have some great friends.
11. I think of my father everyday.
12. I am an early-riser.
13. I can't swim or ride bicycles.
14. I feel dumb around some people.
15. Putting pineapples on pizza should be outlawed.
16. I never had a dollhouse. I still want one.
17. I want to grow my hair really long but never have the guts to.
18. I love dill pickles with my sandwich.
19. I want to learn knitting, crocheting from my mother.
20. I want to be physically fit without any effort on my part! ;-)
21. I read more than one book at a time.
22. I am a big Harry Potter fan.
23. Celebrities that I think are extremely sexy: Pierce Brosnan, Ralph Finnes, Bono, Heath Ledger, Ajay Devgan
24. I've never been to any casinos.
25. I love kissing my kids on their noses.
26. I cry watching movies/documentaries/news/talk shows.
27. I cried all night after 9/11.
28. Even though I respect their decision, I do not understand how someone can decide to not have any children.
29. I used to watch Young and the Restless regularly.
30. When I was in 4th grade, the boy who lived next door, showed me some porn images. I used to avoid him. We became good friends years later.
31. I look like my father.
32. I was a goody two shoes back in middle school.
33. Over a period of one year, I dated an american, two pakistanis and a bangladeshi guy.
34. I own more shoes than clothes.
35. I am not much of a chocolate or icecream person.
36. Tanveer proposed to me in a bookstore, without the ring. I accepted.
37. A lot of people don't know that I was married once before.
38. I am happy in my marriage.
39. I smile a lot.
40. I type properly on IMs with the right cases in the right places.
41. I can't save money to save my life.
42. I should have studied something other than Computer Science.
43. I am scared of roller coasters.
44. I sometimes feel like I am an unfit mother.
45. I can be very stubborn at times.
46. I am clean, but messy.
47. I hate houses that are always tidy.
48. I think Bono has the sexiest voice ever.
49. I can say one whole sentence in Spanish: El drive-through es para clientes solamente.
50. I love crossword puzzles.
51. I think my best feature is my skin.
52. I love chocolate cakes!!!!!!!
53. I admire successful, intelligent women.
54. I wouldn't mind living in Manhattan if I could afford a penthouse in the city.
55. I once stole a book.
56. I am a converted coffee drinker.
57. My mom had Eclampsia when she had me. She was unconcious for three days and wasn't aware of my existence until I was three days old!!!!!!!!
58. Some people say my sister and I look like twins. I disagree.
59. I came to US in 1992.
60. I am a beer girl. White Russian too.
61. I want to learn to cook all types of food.
62. I believe in karma.
63. I love good food.
64. I don't know how to put make up on.
65. I cook with recipe books in front of me.
66. I wear perfume all the time.
67. I want to live in Europe at some point in my life.
68. I think Snape will be redeemed in the last book.
69. I cringe when I hear my voice on the answering machine.
70. Even after 10 years, I sometimes still feel like an outsider when I get together with all my in-laws.
71. I don't think I'll ever wear a bikini.
72. I am very very temperature sensitive!
73. Rather than being good at a lot of things, I wish I were great in one thing.
74. I learnt to read when I was four.
75. I am a very patient teacher.
76. I hope my kids turn out to be very well behaved kids.
77. I got glasses when I was in 5th grade.
78. I am mistaken as Filipino, Indonesian, Latino and ofcourse Indian.
79. I want to drive a racing car someday.
80. I envy those who are always well groomed.
81. I stood fifth (among girls!! :-P) in HSC!
82. I am still scared shitless about natural childbirth.
83. I hardly ever swear.
84. I only got drunk once in my life. Even then I was able to drive two other passed out drunks home. So technically I probably wasn't drunk.
85. I have very small feet.
86. I love boardgames.
87. I used to have a Salma Hayek figure. Now I look like Homer Simpson. :-P
88. I would like to complete my Tintin collection this year and start on the Audrey Hepburn movie collection.
89. I have a cousin who had a huge crush on me for the longest time. I thought it was absolutely gross!
90. I hope and hope that the kids grow up as nice people.
91. I love wrapping gifts.
92. I can't wait to braid Zoya's hair.
93. I am anal about a lot of things. Other things, I couldn't care less.
94. I can not imagine what I would have done if we had lost Zoya.
95. I would have joined the "Mukti Bahini" if I were old enough in 1971.
96. I like driving stick shifts.
97. I have a high IQ, but most times you wouldn't know it.
98. Raffae is stronger than I am and he is 2 1/2!
99. I get embarassed by compliments.
100. I can't stand summer in Bangladesh anymore.
101. I am a good person.

A to Z

"Tuklified" this from Rezwan. Got to his blog from Katie's recent post. Very interesting blog. Will have to read all the old posts this weekend!

• A - Age: 30+ :-P
  
• B - Busy-ness! : Those darn kids!
  
• C - Chore You Hate: Folding laundry!!!!!!!!!!!
  
• D - Daily Routine: wake up, try to wake Tanveer up, make coffee, get the kids ready, try to wake Tanveer up again, get myself ready, pull Tanveer down from the bed, drag tanveer to the bathroom, leave for work, work, come back home, eat, play with kids, get them ready for bed, watch a little tv or read a little, sleep. yeah I know! Boring life!
  
• E - Essential Make-Up Item: Deo, perfume, eye-liner and lipstick
  
• F - Fave pastime: reading, watching tv/movie. Would like to pick up knitting, sewing again.
  
• G - Gold or Silver: Whichever hubby feels like buying for me :-P
  
• H - Homeland: USA and Bangladesh.
  
• I - Instruments You Play: Harmonium!!!!!!!!!!
  
• J - Jinx: None
  
• K - Kids: Two. Son: Raffae 2 1/2 years old Daughter: Zoya 15 months old
  
• L - Living Arrangements: At home with hubby and two kids and soon to be joined by my mom! Yayyy!
  
• M - Marvels: My kids! Can't believe they grew up inside of me!
  
• N - Number of Women I have slept with: None!!! ;-)
  
• O - Obsession: the length of my hair.
  
• P - Phobia: None.
  
• Q - Quote You Like: Too many to mention here.
  
• R - Religious Affiliation: By birth Muslim.
  
• S - Siblings: 1 sister.
  
• T - Time You Wake Up: Whenever one of the kids wake up!
  
• U - Unique Habit: I always have to start cleaning a room from a corner!
  
• V - Vegetable You Refuse to Eat: None.
  
• W - Worst Habit: procrastination!
  
• X - X-Rays You've Had: Teeth
  
• Y - Yummy Food You Make: I make a mean beef curry!!!!!!!
  
• Z - Zodiac Sign: Scorpio
  

Oh nooooooooooo!!!!!!

I've invited everyone to lunch next month for Zoya's bday celebration, and I completely forgot that Ramadan starts soon!! I've been caught with my hand in the cookie jar! I can never pretend that I am a devout Muslim! Also, I have invited some people that I know fast religiously! I'd like to see right now where I am on their good books!! ;-) Gotta think of a solution soon and get back to everyone....

Bishsho Behaya

I am sooooooooo naive. (I can see my sister thinking "finally!!") I get hurt by the same people over and over again and I seem to forget/forgive it in no time! From today, I am not going to play "nice gal" anymore. ( I edited this post, cause as you can probably tell, I was hurt/mad at the time I posted it. That's just not me!!!!))

P.S. See what I mean now by naive!! Setting myself up already for the next incident that's going to hurt me!! Some people just never learn!! Tsk. Tsk.

P.P.S. I was thinking about editing this post one more time, but Tanveer beat me to it! :-) Check out his comment.