Ramblings on a Tuesday

I've been going through mood swings a lot lately. I get annoyed at the kids easily, I am stressed at work, I keep telling myself I'll start going to the gym this week and "this week" never materializes. I often think I will not be materialistic, I won't be vain, I won't be judgmental; yet I find myself in knots from worries that are truly vain in nature, I judge people when I don't take the time to get them to know better. I am nearing 40 and I feel like I should be able to do/say what I want to do and say, yet find myself stifled by my own inhibitions. I am letting myself down, I am letting my family and friends down and I have no one but myself to blame.