Tuesday, November 1

The Naked Truth

I am depressed. Emotions have taken over me. I can’t think rationally, I behave in a totally uncharacteristic way. I fly into a blinding rage for no reason. Halloween night was taking its toll on me. I had both the kids to myself. Took them to our community center where they were handing out Trick-or-treat bags and flashlights. So I dressed the kids up (Harry Potter and Little Devil) and took them there. I had Zoya in a stroller and Raffae was walking next to me. Then before I knew it, he was running like the wind! He was on the sidewalk, but I was worried that he was going to run into the street and get hit by a car! At one point, I was running also to keep up with him, pushing the stroller as fast as I could. He finally fell down and gave me a chance to catch up with him. I literally dragged him home after that. I took off his cloak to take off the light jacket he was wearing underneath. Then he would not put the cloak back on. He was running to the door everytime someone rang the bell. He was saying hello to them, giving them candies (he tried to take some too from someone)!! Zoya was still wearing her Little Devil outfit and was absolutely adorable! But I just couldn’t make Raffae put his Harry Potter cloak back on. I was trying to cook dinner, give out candies, feed Zoya and Raffae. I was getting madder by the second. Finally my knight in shining armor got home, he took Raffae out, made him put the cloak on and we took them to the houses nearby. Then Raffae was having a ball!! He was so cute in his Harry Potter robe, with his wand in one hand and the pumpkin basket in the other. (He sat on the glasses and broke them! True Harry Potter!) He walked up to people’s house and said “Hebo” (Hello) and “Kank U” (Thank U) without any prompting from us. He ate 3-4 candies before we even got home. The rest got confiscated, needless to say. Then later on, in between trying to clean the kitchen, putting laundry in the washing machine and putting Raffae to bed, I said something really hurtful to Shuvo. Yet this morning, he kissed me, hugged me and said he loves me. Can I just kill myself tonight?

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