Soulmate

If you take your life lessons from Bollywood - not only the concept of soulmate is true, you only ever fall in love with your soulmate. With your first sight of the person, you know this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and you would even die to be with this person.

According to Mills and Boon - your soulmate is ALWAYS good looking, charming, suave, intelligent, witty.

Science says soulmate is with whom you have the correct chemistry.

Bangladeshi culture says your parents know better who your soulmate is. (I know that's a huge generalization, but those of you that are from BD, know what I mean)

I don't believe in any of these alone. I think it is more a permutation and combination of all these. What are some of your thoughts?

Here's to my Princess

Happy Birthday Jaanu. I love you!

I feel horrible

You always hear stories like this and think things like this never happen to me, but it does! A family friend in Bangladesh has been missing for the past couple of days. He is my Mom's best friend's husband. No one knows what happened. He was close to 70, but in good health. No one knows if he was kidnapped for ransom, or if he had some sort of rivalry with someone and that person tried to hurt him somehow. My mom is quite upset over this incident and we were talking about it this morning. I can't imagine what Aunty is going through right now! I was telling ammu about abbu, that he was sick, he suffered and passed away - all in front of us and we are still hurting two years later. If they never find Uncle, can you imagine what Aunty has to go through for the rest of her life, what their kids are going to think for the rest of their lives! I atleast have some closure, what will they do?! Will they ever find him? If they do find him, in what condition will they find him? Is it better if he is never found or is that even worse? Would they then think all kinds of horrible thoughts?? I am so genuinely sad for them. I wish I knew how to console them. I wish I could help somehow.

Bitter sweet

A friend from high school, whom I hadn't seen since then, came to visit during Labor Day weekend with his wife and two kids. Essentially, I've known him only as a teenager. To meet him as an adult and to find out that I like him even more as an adult was a great feeling. He has done well for himself, has a LOVELY wife whom all of us adored to death, and the kids! Oh wow! Raffae was instantly friends with S who is just a month younger than him. My mom and I got busy with N who is just about five months old! She is simply adorable. The next day, I offered to baby sit N as my friend and his wife wanted to go see some places in DC. S refused to leave without Raffae, so ammu and I ended up babysitting all four kids and Tanveer took them to DC. The kids had fun coloring, playing at the park, napping on couch cushions on the floor. S was very affectionate towards Zoya too. Every time Raffae and she went to the basement or to another room, she took Zoya with her. Zoya received loads of hugs and kisses from her throughout the weekend. Both S and Raffae cried when it was time to say goodbye. We put S in the car promising to send Raffae and Zoya by mail! She is bugging her dad everyday to talk to the postman since Raffae and Zoya haven't arrived yet! How adorable is that!?

And then we found out my Boro mama (eldest maternal uncle) suffered a heart attack. After my mom's heart attack in 2001, everyone in the family recognizes signs of heart attack and he was taken to the hospital immediately. He received proper treatment at the right time, so he is out of danger at the moment, but will have to take a lot of care of himself for the rest of his life. The scary thing is this mama is the most finicky eater in the family. At 74, he is still very active. You would think he wouldn't be at risk for heart related problems except for that one fact - gene. Almost everyone on my mom's side has had a heart attack or has passed away from stroke. It’s scary to think that I happen to carry that gene too!!!! I need to get in shape, need to lose all these extra pounds I gained during the pregnancies. Just can't seem to motivate myself enough to go to the gym! How much more of a sign do I need?!

I want, I want, I want!!!!!!!

This one and this one!!! OMG! I am so happy that I might not sleep tonight!

Zoya singing ABCs

Silent Tears

It was past 1:30 am and I was crying silent tears. I had just finished reading "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini. Wow! What a story! The main story evolves around two women, from very different backgrounds, in Afghanistan – how their lives got entangled together in a loveless marriage with a brutal, physically violent husband. At first, I thought it was a bit slow-paced and somewhat predictable. Then I got to a point where I couldn’t put it down. I made Tanveer mad because I had the bedside lamp on and he couldn’t sleep. But I had to finish the book last night.

I knew what happened in Afghanistan under Taliban regime and before that under the Soviet invasion for the past 30/40 years. Reading about it all over again, now with two endearing protagonists in the picture, I was trying to put myself in their shoes. I can never imagine not going to work. Specially, if me not going to work meant my kids would have to go without food, what would have I done? What would I have done if I were told that there is no place for me in the hospital and I am about to give birth? What would I have done if I was told I couldn’t go out by myself? That I have to wear Burkha all the time? That I could be beaten for no apparent reason? That my daughter can not go to school? That I cannot watch TV/movie/play? That all books are “haaram” except the Quran? Scary, huh? And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. My heart went out once again to all the women out there. Not just in Afghanistan, but all over the world. Afghanistan, Sudan, Bangladesh, US – doesn’t matter where. There are women out there, living in fear, living under oppression, even at this time and age. I need to do something.

I remember seeing an episode of Oprah where she went to see some women being treated in a clinic in South Africa. A lady from US was so moved by the story that she decided to do something for the women. She didn’t have a lot of money, so she started making bracelets for the women with her daughter using simple, colorful beads. Next time when Oprah went back, she took the bracelets with her. You should have seen the smiles on everyone’s faces. No one probably ever stood up for them, let alone gave them anything nice. This small bracelet made them soooo happy. I kept thinking about it before falling asleep. I need to find out something I can do, even if it something as simple as making bead bracelets. My friend Katie is involved with an organization called "Nari Jibon". I need to give her a call.

I am proud to be a woman and thankful for the life I have.

A Birthday Story

by guest writer: Raffae

Long long time ago, there was a birthday. Happy birthday to Raffae. Raffae has balloons, and cakes and horns and candles. Someone has to hide and say Happy Birthday Raffae. Yup that's my story.

Murphy’s Law prevails

I have called for free tickets to U2, Madonna and some others tour tickets offered by the radio station I listen to on my way home. Usually I never get through. If I do get through, I am usually not the caller 10 (usually that’s the person who gets the ticket). On my way home yesterday, I called and was the caller 10 and got the free tickets – to go see American Idol tour.

Any huge American Idol fan out there that wants to take the tickets off my hand?

P.S. I don't like how my voice sounds!

I miss Bangladesh

My mom got a phone call from Bangladesh this weekend. It was from a lady who used to be our neighbor in Chittagong for as long as I can remember. Obviously after my mom came to US to live with me, she lost touch with a lot of people in Bangladesh. This lady was missing my mom so much that she set her son, Morshed, on a manhunt literally. Her son had cell phone numbers that my parents had used in Bangladesh at different times. He called each one and talked to the person answering the phone to figure out if that person knew where my mom is, could give him a number where he can reach my mom. He hit gold when one of those numbers was answered by my phupu. My mom gave my phupu her phone before leaving Bangladesh. So after pleasantries, Morshed got my mom’s cell phone number here and called over the weekend.

I was so touched by this incident. I kept thinking about chachi (as we used to call her) all throughout the weekend. I remember she used to send us Halwas, mistis, different types of pithas almost every week. My sister and I were regular visitors to her kitchen. Both her and her husband adored the two of us since they had three sons and no daughters. Whenever I had gone to Bangladesh in the past, I had always made a point of visiting her since she was always just couple of steps away. Now with Abbu gone and chacha retired, I hear they have relocated to Dhaka to live with their son. I kept thinking would I see them again?

Why do I not meet people like that over here? Is it me? Am I not open enough to people? Or is it really the people in Bangladesh? Are they born to be hospitable towards everyone? Are they more trustworthy towards people? Whatever it is, I am missing my childhood days like crazy.

Happy Birthday Raffae

My baby is turning four today! Many many happy returns of the day jaan! Love you. Mommy

Motherhood

Motherhood is funny. Without even realizing what you are getting into, you get into this unconditional relationship with someone for life! I was up to my neck at work when my mom called this morning. I answered the phone and before she could say anything, I heard Raffae crying in the background. I was instantly snapped out of my work mode into my mommy mode. I had a feeling this morning that he is going to have a rough day today. We enrolled him for swimming lessons at the community pool. He has been going to the pool every day for an hour or so and as a result comes back home dead tired. We dragged him to the mall with us last night after he came back from his swimming lesson and by the time we came back home, he was so tired he went to sleep right away. This morning, he woke up cranky and I suspect he is still tired. My mom said she has tried everything that normally cheers him up, but all he wants today is his mommy!!! My poor baby! I broke my decision of not giving him any of his birthday presents before his birthday and told my mom to give him one of the board games I got him. Hopefully that will keep him busy till mommy gets home with loads of hugs and kisses (not the candy, real hugs and kisses!). As for my work load, since my attention is pretty much shot for the day, I'll be playing Scrabble with my Facebook buddies for the rest of the day!

Observation of the day

Some people are sooooo stupid that I wish I had a mallet to hit them over the heads and make them better. Nuff said!

Beauty comes with a price!!!

Last night when I was taking out my contact lenses, one of them ripped! It looked quite intact on my hand, but once I went to bed, my eye kept watering and it felt like I had something in my eye. So I gave my eye a good rub. No change. More rubbing. No change. Then my head started throbbing. At one point, I got up, went to the bathroom, splashed some water in my eye and went back to bed. Couple of mintues of rubbing, burning later, I went back to the bathroom again and looked carefully. Holy crap! I see a small piece of my lense floating around in my eye!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEKKKK. Panicked, I call Tanveer. Took him a while to even see the piece. He is all thumbs anyway, so he was no use! Everytime I tried to grab the floating piece, it escaped and I ofcourse touched my eye and that burned like hell! After five or so minutes, Tanveer was getting ready to take me to ER. I felt as if it came out. So I decided not to go to ER and sleep on it.

This morning, I woke up with a throbbing headache! It still felt like there is something in my eye. I followed the same routine of rinsing and rubbing. I called my brother-in-law who is an eye surgeon. He said I probably have an abrasion from all the rubbing. Definitely go see a doctor if it is still bothring me tomorrow morning.

Then sometime during the afternoon, I felt something slide across my eye. This time I looked into one of those mirrors that magnifies the reflection and I saw the culprit folded neatly right around my lower lid! I closed my eyes and it came out!!!!!!

I am glad my eye is still intact!

The worlds of ZeeNotes and Jiggety Jig finally collided

Finally we got to meet Katie Z and Isaac this weekend! Katie left a comment on Tanveer's blog sometime ago and when Tanveer checked out her blog, he found out we have a common friend! How small is this world! I've been reading Katie's blog ever since. She came to DC last week with her son Isaac (Coolest kid ever! Really funny. Kept us entertained and was very patient with Raffae) and was able to come visit us on Friday. Here are some pics of Raffae and Isaac. They jelled instantly, as if they were separated at birth!

See how they both know how to pose for the camera!

Isaac shared his Gameboy with Raffae

Raffae was worshipping Isaac for letting him play his Gameboy

Isaac very patiently showed Raffae how to play

The Death Clock

As if I wasn't depressed enough today, I found this on the web.

The Death Clock - When am I going to die?

My death date is Thursday, January 6, 2050 :'(

Reality bites

No matter how grown up I act/am, when it comes to my family, specially my “chacha”s, I still feel like a little girl. I grew up in a joint family, indulged by my uncles and aunts. They are an intricate part of my life, of who I am. I’ve been out of Bangladesh for a long time now and over time I feel like my ties have somewhat loosened with them. Then I see a picture or receive an email from one of them and I just want to throw all my responsibilities away and go sit on their laps just like I used to when I was a little girl and let them tell me that they will be there forever to take care of me, nothing bad will ever happen to me because they will be there to slay the monsters for me.

My Chacha has been sick for some time. I received some pictures from my cousin today. Chachchu looks soooo frail in the pictures. The pictures turned me into a complete emotional wreck today. Life sucks.

Home sweet home

After nine days of almost non-stop driving through torrential rain, sunny weather, scattered showers, cloudy days; throughout which we consumed way too many McDonald’s meals, Tim Horton’s/Starbucks coffee, donuts, chips, apples (Zoya ate three apples one day!), grapes, chanachur, cookies, Chinese food, awesome Indian food (One night in Montreal and one night in Toronto), and of course yummy homemade Biryani, shutki vorta along with other types of vorta; which took us to Centre Island, to African Lion Safari, to Montreal, to BioDome, to the Botanical Garden, to the Olympic Stadium, to visit family and friends; we are back home!

Highlights of the vacation:

• Raffae became a lion
  
• Zoya became known as the "Apple Baby"
  
• Raffae loves his cousins and cried for half an hour when we left Toronto.
  
• Tanveer is a lean mean driving machine!
  
• Raffae drove a car
  
• Zoya saw an "Ocean"
  
• I got THREE beautiful sarees as gifts!
  
• The weather in Montral sucked! Rained! We couldn't walk the city streets to our hearts content
  
• My mom found peace in Japanese garden
  
• My sister got "Kankles"
  
• My mil is in love with Montreal
  

Stay tuned for pictures!!!!! Hundreds of them! :-D

Words of wisdom from a three year old

Raffae broke one of his crayons this morning. When I tried to peel the paper away to get to the broken end, he screamed "Mommy, you can't peel it! It's not a BANANA!!!!" :-D

The Awful Truth

I went to the doctor last week. The assistant who came to check my pulse, blood pressure etc asked how tall I was and I said 5’2”. She looked at me and said lets measure you. I stepped under the measurement tape with a little smirk on my face. Then she said “Well, you are actually 5’ 1.5”. I guess you always round it up.”

Three things:
1) I swear on my kids I don’t remember rounding it up! My sister and I used to measure ourselves a lot growing up to see who is taller. We were always just about the same height and she always wanted to claim that she was taller. (She still is not btw). I know I am 5’ 2”
2) What does it matter even if I am .5” shorter? How does that affect my health?!
3) I guess I lied to Tanveer also. Baby, I am .5” shorter. Is that ok with you?